Coping With Divorce

Divorce Attorney: Coping Wіth Divorce 405-740-4724.

If you are an individual about to go through a divorce or anticipating the possibility in Oklahoma City / OKC, Edmond, Yukon, Norman, Moore, Warr Acres, Bethany, Nichols Hills, The Village, Midwest City, Del City, Guthrie or any other city in Oklahoma, divorce attorney oklahoma city can help.

Coping with the end of a relationship, especially a marriage, can be extremely difficult, especially without the help of a good divorce attorney. With the end of any relationship, in most cases, comes a great deal of heartache and grief, and insecurity. It is especially difficult during the holidays. It can also cause a lot of people to question what they did wrong in the relationship and what they could have done differently, if anything. It is almost always a good idea to talk to a good divorce attorney before you make a decision to file for a divorce. It is always a good idea to educate yourself about your rights and obligations if you file for a divorce. The best way to be educated it to talk with a good divorce attorney.

When struggling with the collapse of a marriage, there are so many questions and doubts that a person has. Even though, marriage to some people might seem to be different from a long term relationship just because you have a piece of paper that says “Married” on it, in reality it is so much more than that. A marriage breaking up, in most cases is a lot more emotionally draining than just a relationship ending. A good divorce attorney can give you the confidence necessary to get through such a painful time in your life.

You might feel lost. You could feel like you have lost your identity of who you are because you previously identified yourself as part of a couple, a team, and now that the partnership is no more. You have to reevaluate who you are and who you will become. You will no longer feel like the same person who was in love and was once loved. You no longer will feel the same because you, in most cases will no longer share the same dreams and commitment with the same person. A divorce attorney can keep you from feeling too negative about how your life will be after the divorce. Be honest with yourself. You had good times and you had bad times.

A divorce can change your whole, entire world. Your normal routine will change. Your responsibilities will most likely increase. Your finances will probably become more difficult. Your relationships with family and friends will most likely change. You will worry about your future. You will be fearful of being alone. You will wonder if you will ever find love again. Will you be alone for the rest of your life? Dealing with a divorce can be a very difficult thing to do but by making the right decisions and using the right mechanisms, you will learn from the experience and become a much stronger, smarter person.

While men and women deal with different emotional issues, there are certain things you can do to lessen the emotional toll and help you come out the other end.

 

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

For some reason, many people don’t feel that they have the right to grieve. They would rather immerse themselves in busy work. Anything to keep themselves busy. They will try to find activities to keep occupied or find some other distraction. They don’t want to feel the pain of their loss. Pain and sadness my seem like they are too much to bear but they are important steps in the grieving process. It is important that you allow yourself time to go through that process. You may feel empty, or lost, or even numb, but in order to get through the process, it is important that you allow your self to go through these steps. Grieving is an important part of the healing process. You may experience pain, sadness, anger, exhaustion, and frustration. You may not feel like eating or sleeping. These are all normal experiences for what you are going through.

 

Accept That the Relationship is Over

When a marriage ends, one of the hardest things to do is to accept that the relationship is over. Accepting that the marriage has ended is an important part of dealing with the divorce. While many people have a hard time dealing with the end of a marriage, usually due to the fear of the unknown. This is an important part of being able to move on with your life and start over. It is difficult but try really hard not to think about the negative feelings. Hold on to the negative can hold you back from moving forward.

 

Get Help

This is very important. If at all possible, do not go through this alone. If you have a support system of family and friends, take advantage of it. A majority of the time, your family and friends will be willing and able to help you get through a divorce. Even if they are just acting as a sounding board for you. Just having someone to vent to can be an incredible way to get through the divorce. If you don’t have family and friends to act as your support system, consider talking to a counselor or joining a support group. Ask around. Get a referral to someone who has helped other people. If the divorce means that you no longer have a network of relationships that you can talk to, try to meet new people through community activities, or even a place such as a church. A divorce attorney might be able to introduce you to some social groups and activities that you might enjoy and start establshing new relationships.

Take Care оf Yourself

One aspect that most people going through divorce overlook is to take care of themselves. It is very important when going through a divorce is to take care of yourself. This is even more important if you have kids. You want to make the changes going on in your life less stressful on your kids. If they see you not taking care of yourself, then they will have more stress and be more concerned about what is going on. You can do simple tasks such as taking a walk, listen to music, soaking in a hot tub. Wear nice outfits, continue to wear makeup, if that is normal  for you.

Don’t make any big decisions such as taking a new job or moving to a new city right away. Find a new activity.

Dealing with a divorce, you most likely will deal with despair and depression. At times like these, many people turn to alcohol, food, or worse, drugs to avoid the feelings of loneliness and pain. It is important to be strong, especially if you have children. You will get through this and maybe even have a better life. You can still have an amazing future. You can still attain your hopes and dreams as a single person.

 

Telling Your Children About Your Divorce

You and your spouse may have come to the conclusion that a divorce is the best solution for the two of you but what about your children? In a majority of cases, it is best, in the long term to get a divorce but if not handled properly, it can be devastating for your kids. Even in this situation, having a good divorce attorney can help you know the best way to make it less painful for your kids.

The thought of THE conversation about a divorce can cause you a lot of anxiety and can be really unnerving but it is something that has to be done, and in most cases, the sooner the better. The question is, what exactly do you tell your children and how do you tell them? One of the most important things to consider is their age. This important discussion needs to be age appropriate. What you tell a four year old and how you tell them will be much different than what you tell a 14 year old. You know your children better than anyone so you know the best way to handle it but you could still ask a good divorce attorney for their opinion, if any, and get some input from their experience. Better yet, the divorce attorney might be able to refer you to a good child counselor that can advise you of the best way to handle it.

It is important to tell them as soon as possible. Kids are smart. They will be able to tell something is going on. The vibes are usually very obvious and too hard to miss, even for children. If possible, it is usually best if both parents sit down and tell the children what is going on. Be ready for their response. In many situations, the children will blame themselves. They will be worried about who they will live with and where they will live. They may have a hard time accepting the fact that they will live with only one parent. It is best to talk to them right away, even before you talk to a divorce attorney. That will help the kids feel confident that they will be OK. Both parents must ensure that the kids know that your feelings for them will not change. You both love them unconditionally.

A divorce is one of the most difficult things a child will ever go through. It is stressful for both parents, even deciding on a good divorce attorney is stressful and it is stressful for the children. If not handled properly, it can have adverse effects on the children. It is important to be extremely sensitive when telling your kids you are getting a divorce. Talk to your soon to be ex and agree on exactly what you ae going to say and the reasons for the divorce before talking to them. Avoid conflict and disagreements with your soon to be ex in front of the children. Fighting in front of the kids is not good for the children to see. It will make matters much worse. Try to be as amicable as possible with your spouse. Many couples are able to have a friendly divorce and even use the same divorce attorney.

Picking the right time to tell your children about a divorce is extremely important but can be very difficult to decide. Don’t rush the conversation. Take your time. Know in advance what you are going to say. Pick a day when the kids are out of school and don’t have an activity they have to get to. Be ready for an emotional upheaval. Put your differences on the back burner and focus on your kids. Let them know that this is a mutual decision. It will be hard for them to accept so make it as easy on them as you possibly can.

Make sure the kids understand that it is not their fault. They are not to blame in any way, shape, or form. It will probably take them a very long time to deal with the trauma of a divorce. They may be silent. They may not want to talk about it. As many divorce attorneys and child counselors will tell you, it will most likely take them some time to process what is happening. You and your spouse need to be unbiased and as honest as you can without making it harder on your children. It is also important to not bad mouth the other in front of the kids and also to not bad mouth them when you are alone with the kids. That might make you feel better but could harm your children. Remember half of your children come from your spouse, so by bad mouthing your former spouse, you are in an indirect way also saying bad things about your kids.

A child’s world is their parents until they become independent, so in the event of a divorce, their world falls apart, at least in their eye. They might be devastated for quite awhile. Show them lots of reassurance, from both parents. Spend time with them. If you make a promise, keep it.

It is best if both parents tell the kids about the divorce, together, and with honesty. It is best done together, and remember, both to love them unconditionally and make sure they feel your love.